


Tall, by lilliputian standards

by LittleLinor



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 09:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15638229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLinor/pseuds/LittleLinor
Summary: Being free from diffride means Kazumi has to face his own feelings again, and it's harder than one would think.Based onLily'schildhood friends au!





	Tall, by lilliputian standards

**Author's Note:**

  * For [o0whitelily0o](https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0whitelily0o/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY
> 
> I hope this isn't too inaccurate; I had to work off what little I know of the future of the au, so it's probably wildly inaccurate in terms of events. Take it as an au of the au??? Tl;dr this isn't actually canon dgfjdkfdkjfd anyway
> 
> Writing Kazumi and Kazuma is actually really fun, I should do it more.

The first thing that strikes Kazumi when he finally gets to see Chrono again, _himself_ , not through Shiranui's eyes, is how small he makes him feel.  
It's strange. Physically, he towers over him (and _that_ is something to get used to, too, when they used to be close in height; Kazumi's used to being taller than most by now, even if it often makes him feel awkward and out of place, but Chrono took the opposite path and barely catches up with the girls he interacts with; being over a full head taller than him is so _weird_ ), but there's something about Chrono that makes him feel towered over instead, in a safe way. The same way he could have hidden behind adults to shelter himself from a blazing sun or cutting wind, back when he still trusted any of them. When he was so small that the reality of his family hadn't really sunk in.  
He's not quite sure what it is. An aura, perhaps, something about him that reaches beyond the reaches of his physical body. Chrono is as warm and caring as ever, and his passion has grown so much that he seems to be radiating it at every moment. So different from Kazumi, who if anything has drawn in on himself more and more over the years, until Shiranui gave him what part of him had maybe guiltily wanted and locked him inside entirely.  
But Shiranui is gone, now, gone with an apology and a promise to find out what had really been going on behind the scenes, and in his wake there was only emptiness, and a body that feels more awkward than ever.  
But Chrono… Chrono fills up any space without even trying, and in that blanketing presence Kazumi feels like he can be small, almost. Like he can rest.  
Like he could close his eyes and lean forward against his shoulder, maybe, if he even remotely deserved to.  
Even if he doesn't, it's nice to know, to think, that Chrono wouldn't begrudge him for it if he did. He has always been overly kind.

He knows he's transparent. Not to strangers, of course; despite how clumsy he feels, strangers always seem to take his manners and polite half-truths at face value. But he's always been transparent where it would have really mattered. Chrono, Kazuma. Shiranui. His father.  
Kazuma knows. It's obvious, very early on, from the way he looks at him whenever Chrono is mentioned. Like he's observing him. Talking carefully about him, himself, as if trying to bring him up subtly, to make Kazumi react.  
For a short, guilty moment, he'd been scared that Kazuma had feelings for him. But that fear had quickly been replaced by anger at himself. Kazuma had earned his place at Chrono's side far more than he did, and deserved someone kind after all he'd been through. And besides, Chrono deserved someone the same age as him, not an older boy who still wanted to rely on him as if he was still a child.  
But no. As the weeks went by, it became obvious that there was something else going on. Kazuma did care about Chrono, but there was nothing romantic there; the reason he kept bringing him up was to get a reaction out of Kazumi himself.  
Maybe he's trying to get him to focus on someone other than Shiranui. It wouldn't be surprising; Kazuma seems to hold a grudge against his avatar, and Kazumi doesn't quite have the heart to argue, especially after Shiranui tried to hurt him. But for the same reason, he doesn't have the right to just walk up to Chrono like nothing happened, he thinks.  
It's his fault Chrono was targeted. His fault that Shiranui took an interest in him, marked him as a likely vessel. Because he couldn't help looking up to him, believing in him. Because he trusted in his strength.  
And if something happens to him now…  
… if something happens to him now, it'll be his fault again.

“… I'm sorry I didn't notice at first,” Chrono tells him one day, when Kazumi brings up the topic, determined to actually apologise.  
It's enough to stop him in his tracks.  
“I did think something was _weird_ ,” Chrono continues, “but I never thought it wasn't actually you…”  
“N-no, it's… it's quite all right.” He sighs. “You have nothing to blame yourself for. You hadn't seen me for seven years, how could you have guessed that the changes hadn't been the simple consequences of time. If anything…”  
He trails off, trying to conceal the slight smile that slipped to his lips, the sudden heat he feels on his face and in his chest.  
“Huh?”  
“… if anything, I was happy that you welcomed me immediately. I shouldn't have been—it allowed Shiranui to trap you—but I was… I thought you might hate me, after the way I chased you out of my life. Being welcomed, even after that, and after that many years…”  
It had made him happy, despite his fear. And he'd hated it, because he knew Shiranui could feel it too.  
“Why would I ever hate you?”  
He looks back up at Chrono, barely concealing his surprise at the out burst.  
“… I was frustrated,” Chrono continues, looking agitated, _frowning_ , staring at him a little like he's trying to figure out something about him. “I was _sad_ , and kinda hurt, but I didn't _hate_ you.” He sighs. “… I know you better than that. I knew… you were trying hard to look all right, but it still showed, you know? That something was off. But what was I supposed to do? Force your hand by coming anyway and risk getting you in trouble?” He shakes his head. “I couldn't really do anything… but I was pissed about it. I kept thinking, if I'd tried a little harder…”  
“You already tried.”  
Chrono stops. Kazumi stares into nothing, not daring to meet his eyes.  
“… it meant the world to me,” he finally admits, quietly. “That you tried at all.”

Sometimes he wonders. If he'd dared call for help then. If he'd allowed himself to lean on Chrono, to rely on him. Would things have turned out different?

It's months and another crisis later when Kazuma corners him, looking at him across a table and a large bag of fries.  
“So when are you gonna talk to Chrono?”  
Kazumi feigns ignorance. He's become quite good at it, over the years.  
“Chrono? Aren't we seeing him at the shop tournament next weekend?”  
Kazuma rolls his eyes and snorts.  
“You know what I'm talking about. How long are you gonna bat your eyelashes at him without actually saying anything? He's perceptive for a lot of things, but not when it comes to romance; if you don't get forward he's not gonna get it. And you're not the only butterfly around _that_ flower.”  
Kazumi hesitates, long enough for Kazuma to squint at him, then roll his eyes, muttering something about ' _fricking Chrono_ ' and ' _reverse type_ '.  
Finally, Kazumi decides to be honest. Lying to Kazuma has never ended well.  
“… am I really that obvious?”  
“Oh _please_. You were obvious when you were twelve. _Kuro-kun_ , so strong, so brave, so _noble_.”  
Kazumi hides his face in his hands, elbows to the table. He'd thought he was so subtle and secretive at the time! Hell, he hadn't even really _understood_ then what his feelings meant, not really. Of all the things for his little brother to notice… He wouldn't recover from the embarrassment any time soon.  
Kazuma snickers.  
“Thought so. I was jealous of him at the time, you know.”  
“… Kazuma, I'm so sorr—”  
“But watching you flail around now is too funny,” Kazuma interrupts him, “so we're even.”  
“I… I'm glad to provide some entertainment,” Kazumi sighs, deflated and defeated.  
When he finally peeks through his fingers, Kazuma is smiling, the kind of warm and relaxed smile he would only have dreamed of even a few weeks ago.  
Warm, and relaxed, and perhaps for the first time, actually free.

It takes another month for an actual opportunity to present itself (no, all the chances he technically had to see him do not count, it has to be _natural_ and it has to not inconvenience anyone else). Kazumi's at Dragon Empire to register for an event and maybe see Ryuzu when he spots the toddler playing and Chrono right next to him, trying to keep watch on him with one eye and read a book with the other.  
“Good afternoon,” he says, walking up to them with a smile.  
The reaction is immediate. Ryuzu brightens even more and runs towards him, and Chrono sets his book aside and stands, smiling back.  
Kazumi would gladly get on his knees for that smile, and mentally hits himself for the thought.  
“Hey,” Chrono says as Kazumi picks up Ryuzu. “How are you doing, Kazumi? I haven't see you in a while.”  
“Ah… I'm sorry about that…”  
“I asked Kazuma how you were doing, and he rolled his eyes and said you were being stupid,” Chrono chuckles awkwardly. “I was almost worried.”  
_Thanks, little bro._  
“I'm fine… I was just working through some things. Sorry if I worried you.”  
“If you're okay, then that's what matters.”  
His smile is blinding. Kazumi diverts the focus away from himself so he can _breathe_.  
“What were you reading?”  
“Oh, that.” He blushes, suddenly, and Kazumi hasn't seen that expression often. Ryuzu seems to agree, staring at him. “Well—last year I took the exam to qualify for Clan Leader, but I wasn't properly prepared, and I messed up… I want to take it again this year, but with everything that happened, I didn't really have time to study… cause I still have my job, and school, and…”  
And Ryuzu, Kazumi understands, but Chrono would die before saying in front of a child that they're burdening him in any way.  
“I see… I wish you luck, then. I'm sure you can make it.”  
Chrono smiles, although it's a little strained.  
“Thanks… honestly I'm kinda worried. I try but… I'm not good at studying. I can spend ages on it and it just doesn't _stick_. Kind of takes all I have to keep up with school already, honestly. Shin and Kamui have been testing me every now and then, but…”  
He trails off.  
“… would you like some help?” Kazumi asks, sudden courage flowing into him. Maybe Ryuzu is to blame, or maybe it's Kazuma's not-quite-nagging looks.  
“Huh?”  
“For a few years, I didn't play much… but I read up a lot, kept myself up to date… and then I studied every clan in detail before the first U20. If you have some time, I'd be happy to coach you, if you think that could help.”  
“Wh—I mean, yeah, it'd help, but—are you really sure?”  
“Yes.”  
That much he can answer without hesitation.  
“… thanks,” Chrono finally says, practically glowing with relief and excitement. “I really owe you one.”  
Kazumi chuckles.  
“Not at all. You saved me, after all.”  
“That was ages ago! And I didn't do it alone.”  
“I'm still grateful, Chrono. But if you insist…” He pauses. Hesitates. Then decides to not be a coward, for once in his life. “… one of my former classmates has recently been accepted in a famous orchestra… he's advertised to the whole class that they'll be in town next month, and I've been tempted, but it would be a shame to go alone…”  
Chrono blinks.  
“Wait. You want to invite _me_? To a _classical_ concert?”  
“I'm sure you'd like it… and the date should fall after the exam, I think, so you needn't worry about wasting time.”  
“That's not the part I was worried about, but…” He hesitates, then looks up with a smile, and once again it's Kazumi who feels small. “Thanks. If you really want me there, then I'll come.” Then he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just… please don't be disappointed if I'm, you know, _me_. I'm not sure I'm the right person to appreciate this kind of thing. You sure you don't want to go with one of your classmates instead?”  
“No,” Kazumi answers, “I'm sure you're absolutely the right person.”

**Author's Note:**

> The orchestra date is based on [this](https://twitter.com/uselesslilium/status/1025780163169185792).


End file.
